Here’s random post for your Saturday afternoon! We pass the time over lunch at work by playing cards. Sometimes we get the Uno deck out, but more often than not we’ll crack open a standard deck of cards and play a game I first learned back at school; Shithead.
It’s an extremely entertaining game and not merely because the whole point is to be able to call the loser a “shithead”. It’s a game of skill, tactics, cunning and guile. And for those who don’t know how to play it, I am about to explain.
NOTE: Given the nature of the game, there are several variations as to how you might choose to play it. For this guide I’m just going to tell you about what we do, but by all means make any changes you see fit.
The game is designed for any number of people, though you may wish to set yourself a limit. Two is the bare minimum, but if you want to get some real enjoyment out of the game you’ll need at least three, but preferably four or more.
If your cards don't look like this, you're doing it wrong
Firstly, the dealer dishes out three cards face-down in a row to each player. These cards must not be looked at. A second row of cards is then placed on top of these, but face-up. Finally, three cards are issued to each player, face-down, which will become their hand. So:
- Three face-down
- Three face-up
- Three face-down
As you can tell, you’ll get through the deck quite quickly because of the number of cards being dealt, so you may wish to use two decks shuffled together. The remaining cards are placed in a pile, face-down, in the middle of the table.
Once everything is dealt, each player may swap any of the cards in their hand with the ones they have face-up on the table. They may only be swapped at this point in the game and cannot be changed later on.
The player to the left of the dealer begins and the game proceeds clockwise. The idea is to place a card on the table equal to, or higher, than the card at the top of the pile. Aces are high. If you cannot lay a higher card, you must pick up all of the cards in the pile and add them to your hand. The next player then plays whichever card they desire on to the table and the pile begins again.
You may lay as many cards of the same value as you wish. For example, if there is a Six on the table, you may lay two Sevens on top of it.
Whilst there are cards remaining in the deck, each player must have at least three cards in their hand. So if you place a single card and end up with two cards in your hand you will need to replace it to make it up to three.
Once you have played all of the cards in your hand and there are no more cards remaining in the deck, you may start on the cards face-up on the table. The same rules apply as with the rest of the game and you must try to beat the card previously laid. Obviously, as everyone else is able to see your cards at this point, it makes this part of the game slightly more difficult (and why it’s important to try and place the highest cards face-up which you were dealt at the beginning of the game). You may only play one of these cards at a time. So, should you have three Jacks all face-up, you may still only play one Jack at a time. If you are unable to play one of your face-up cards at this point, you must pick up the pile. You may not pick up one of the face-up cards to use in your hand. Proceed until your hand has gone and you are able to start on the face-up cards again.
Once you have managed to get rid of the face-up cards, you may start on those face-down. You still may not look at these. When it is your turn to play, pick one of your cards at random. You do not have to show anyone else. If you cannot go, retain the card you’ve just picked up and collect the rest of the pile. You may not play any more face-down cards until you’ve got rid of the cards in your hand.
Once you have got rid of all the cards in your hand and all of the cards on the table, you are out. The game continues until there is one person left. Remember, there are no winners; there is only the shithead left at the end of the game. You must remind them that they are the shithead.
Special Cards and Rules
Of course, the game is not quite that simple. There are a few special cards which change play rather dramatically. These are:
- Two (Restart): The Two can be laid on almost every other card (excluding the Three). It restarts the pack and allows the following player to begin the numbering again.
- Three (The Bastard): The Three (or Bastard card) can be laid on any other card. It can only be beaten by another Three. If you do not have another Three to play, you pick up the pile.
- Four: Not really a special card per se, but it is technically the lowest card in the game.
- Seven (Lower): A Seven requires the proceeding player to lay a Seven or lower than a Seven. It can only be played on top of a Seven or a card lower than a Seven. If the player cannot go, they must pick up the pile.
- Ten (Burn): A Ten will burn the pile; that is, it will remove the pile entirely from the game. The player who placed the Ten may have another go. A Ten may only be played on a card lower than a Ten.
- Jack (Reverse): A Jack reverses the order of play. So it will switch from clockwise to anticlockwise and vice versa. It may only be laid on a Jack or a card lower than a Jack.
- Ace: Not really a special card, but Aces are high in this game.
The final rule has to do with burning. Just like a Ten, should a player lay four of a kind (or place the fourth card on another three of the same kind, so that they are directly on top of each other on the pile), the pile gets removed from play. The player who burnt the pile then has another go.
And that’s it!
Hmm… actually, after reading all that I’ve noticed that I seem to have made it sound extremely complicated! It isn’t, but I’ve somehow managed it. But that’s by-the-by. This is a great game for all the family. Of course, if you are playing it with younger children, you may wish to call it something different. Like Poohead. Or Daffodils.
